Well, after the final curtain was closed on Melodifestivalen I can finally make this post. National final season 2022 was… odd. This year simultaneously gave us some of the most diabolical things I have ever listened to with my good face-ears, and yet some absolute mega bangers. This post is going to be dedicated to the good for once. (No more negativity? My god Oisín, you’re turning a new leaf this season!) So today, I’ll be counting down five of the best songs that were dumped out of their national finals and never made it to Eurovision 2022.
Before I start this – some honorable mentions that don’t quite fit into this list are “Little Girl” by Merilin Malk from Estonia’s Eesti Laul, “Death of Us” by Elsie Bay from Norway’s Melodi Grand Prix, “Terra” by Tanxugueiras from Spain’s Benidorm Fest and “Jezinky” by Giudi from the Czech Republic’s ESCZ. All of these would be in my top 10, if not 5, if they’d won their selections.
5. Javiera Mena – Culpa – Spain (Benidorm Fest)
To start off our list, a song that didn’t even advance from its semi final, let alone make it to Eurovision. For shame! When I first saw that the lovely Javiera Mena would be attempting to represent Spain in the Eurovision, I was equally as confused (Miss Mena is Chilean, and I had not remembered the fact that she lived in Madrid) as I was delighted that an artist I was a huge fan of was going to be participating in Spain’s selection. And Javiera DELIVERED. “Culpa”, her entry, was a slice of indie-pop that you couldn’t help but know was Javiera Mena’s entry, from the start with the pumping synths and funky chopped beat, to the climactic, church organ backed breakdown. Unfortunately, Spain saw fit to dismiss it and it finished sixth out of seven in its semi final in BeniFest. Shock, horror, dismay.
4. La Rappresentante di Lista – Ciao Ciao – Italy (Sanremo)
Italy ALWAYS delivers. There’s always at least one song that absolutely slaps, and it’s conveniently almost always a fan favourite that ends up tanking in the actual contest despite a phenomenal live. Funny how history repeats itself. Having placed 11th in Sanremo 2021 with their song “Amare”, the Italian pop rock duo I’m gonna refer to as LRDL from now on (because that name is too long to keep saying) came back with the toe tapping, head banging pop rock hit “Ciao Ciao”. With its catchy lyrics, even catchier trumpet-backed melody, LDRL quite literally sprinkled crack in this one. Despite major hope about this early on, it didn’t make the super-final of three – placing sixth in total, which in fairness is a big improvement and a good showing in the institution of a show that Sanremo is. Come back next year lads.
3. Olivera – Thank God I’m An Atheist – Finland (UMK)
It wouldn’t be an OisínDoesESC blog article without me gushing about UMK somehow or another, and as much as I hate to be predictable, I’ve gotta stick to my winning formula here. Olivera, a rank outsider in a field of much better known entrants, brought one of the most powerful and well-written entries of the year in “Thank God I’m An Atheist”. The lyrics are sombre, talking about how the singer fears the afterlife, doesn’t want to live forever and just peacefully die whenever their time comes, and resonate pretty closely with the fact I used to have these exact thoughts every day – it’s not the sort of lyrical depth of quality you would EVER expect in Eurovision, but we absolutely love to see it. The instrumental is absolutely stunning, with a gorgeously powerful piano instrumental featuring a ticking clock sort of effect in the background too. Despite a stunning performance and an incredible reception from the UMK audience, this ended up placing fourth. Olivera, you will ALWAYS be famous.
2. LIAMOO – Bluffin – Melodifestivalen (Sweden)
Gotta be honest here, I had not been a fan of LIAMOO’s past entries. I found both his solo entry in 2018 and his duet with Hanna Ferm in 2019 rather lacklustre. So when I listened to the live performances in Melodifestivalen, it’s fair to say this one absolutely blew me away. LIAMOO is a seasoned performed and brings this to the show with him. The song itself, “Bluffin”, is a characteristically slick bit of Swedish pop music which no Mello show is complete without, with LIAMOO singing about battling his demons over an absolutely pounding beat with a superb instrumental break in place of a chorus. Ultimately, what killed this performance wasn’t any vocal letdowns (LIAMOO was note-perfect), it was the choreography. For the semi finals, they just had LIAMOO dancing Renata Bliss-style on his own for three minutes, and for the finals, they decided to get… four more dancers up beside him, doing the exact same naff moves. This pulled off a fourth place finish in the end, so by no means do I think this is LIAMOO’s last foray into Melodifestivalen, and thank heavens.
1. Isaac Sene – Kuuma Jäbä – UMK (Finland)
Not one, but TWO Finnish entries make my top five for this year, but listen, hear me out. IT WAS A GAY BOP. A first-time entrant in UMK, Isaac Sene rocked up with a song that shocked pretty much everyone listening to the premiere. “Kuuma jäbä”, which translates into Finnish as “hot guy”, was an absolute stormer of a song. Opening with a powerful electric guitar intro before going into a pumping, synthy beat, Isaac Sene just brought effortless, raunchy coolness to UMK and I was so HERE for it, and not just because they had the word “Oisín” in the lyrics by sheer coincidence. The studio version was great, but the live performance… my oh my. SO MUCH ASS. One of those things that you need to watch to believe. Regretfully, it seemed in the end that the Finnish public were not very comfortable with Public Displays of Sexuality, as this ended up finishing fifth out of six entries. Fucking heathens. In spite of all this, I can pretty emphatically say that “Kumma jäbä” is now my favourite national final entry of all time. Absolutely fucking legendary.
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